Love and Relationships: A Guide for Healing Relationships

March 16, 2011
Anne Rice

The purpose of relationships can fit into two categories:  1) To Love and 2) To catalyze the evolution into love. These two principles, if held with sincerity by both partners while supported by divine will, will bring depth and longevity to a committed relationship.

Somewhere in time, maybe in the Beaver Cleaver era, a perception was born that unless a relationship is completely harmonious and pleasant, there is something very wrong. Maybe this ideology would work in a world where people do not have emotions, judgments, and sexual complexities, but in this world it is overlooking a fundamental truth: Challenges are a necessary element for longevity in relationships.

Challenges bring growth and renewal. Without them stagnancy sets in and habitual patterns begin to run the relationship. When you accept challenges, within reason, and grow through them together, your commitment and love for each other will grow strong. When your commitment and love grow stronger and deeper than the challenges you face, you will know you have become truely joined in soulful union.

There is an essential ingredient for facing challenges. This one thing frees each willing partner to fully be oneself in the relationship. When both practice it, it not only brings the relationship into a state of comfort and intimacy, it creates a heartfelt life. This ingredient is: complete self-honesty with the willingness to leave false pride at the door. As Ansari of Herat wrote about walking the path of love, “The first step is making yourself humble as ashes.”

Share your hidden insecurities, shame in your failures and apologies for your spiteful behavior. Listen to each other’s wounds and needs with an open heart. Share your wildest dreams and explore your deepest purpose as a couple. The ability to release your subtle armor while revealing vulnerability and inspiration will strengthen your connection with each other and your confidence in love. For it is through a tender, open heart that true, deep love can be felt and your essential nature invited forward. Relationships are a profound means for personal growth and the deeper the love discovered, the more sublime our connection to life and our true selves.